it does kinda suck that there’s such a need for terms that are meant to describe specifically being a nonbinary person who is entirely off the binary, because like, you should generally not assume nonbinary people are still attached in some way to that binary unless they specifically say that, and yet that’s really not the world we live in. nonbinary genders can be independent to themselves just like the binary genders are, and being nonbinary while still being attached to one or both binary genders isn’t because they must be, or because they’re less autonomous gender experiences. and yet people are assumed to either be “more of a guy nonbinary” or “more of a girl nonbinary” or “somewhere in-between” or some kind of relation to it, unless explicitly stated to be autonomous. which sucks. some people don’t even understand or accept the idea of autonomous nonbinary genders like maverique, and that can come from supposedly “pro-nonbinary” people! where is the “there are 75 genders and every time you get mad we add another” energy.
like on one hand yeah really awesome and cool that i made the term kenochorique a few years ago for kenochoric people not aligned to the gender binary at all. on the other hand it makes me sad to be aware that if someone says “i’m kenochoric” to another person- one who isn’t nonbinary or even just not in the loop about neogenders- they’re still gonna go “ok but are they a boy kenochoric or a girl kenochoric….” in their head! because people love to binarize nonbinary people so much that having language to specify “no, i’m NOT related to the binary, AT ALL, i’m ENTIRELY NOT THE BINARY EVEN A LITTLE” is not just useful, it’s required in order for people- even some other nonbinary people!!!!!!- to stop misgendering you. and even then some people just straight up don’t think you exist unless you’re a girl nonbinary or boy nonbinary. yay.
btw i’m not saying “these terms are bad and harmful” at all. even in a perfect world, i think these terms are great and useful because they do describe a niche that is smaller than “nonbinary.” my point is moreso that the common conception of “being nonbinary” very rarely if ever includes people who are abinary, to the point where even labelling yourself as a neogender like xenogender, kenochoric, etc. is treated more like a modifier to your “real” gender alignment. aka boylite or girllite. and if you try to escape this people just don’t let you. THAT is my problem.