[from your tags] whats comphet?

i can’t explain shit for shit, but at least in that context it’s like women who don’t realize they’re lesbians for a while cuz misogyny + homophobia in society makes them like. try to fit in. and sometimes they get fake “crushes” they can never actually obtain and stuff. if something’s actually reciprocated, it might suddenly feel gross or uncomfortable.

like umm, an example from when i was a kid: all my (girl) friends were in a circle and talking about their crushes on boys, and kept “daring” me during games to finally admit which boy i liked, so i just picked the most popular one in school because i knew people’d think it’s weird if i didn’t have one. and i tried to convince myself that i toooottally did because that’s what’s normal. in reality i kinda hated him lol.

and then later on, i thought i had a crush on this guy who had a crush on me, i was like oh we’re close and everyone thinks we’re dating and he keeps trying soooo, i guess i must like him? ok. but then every time he actually tried to make any advancement on me i would Freak the Fuck Out and run from the situation.

that’s why i was saying it’s hard to know if you’re bi or if it’s comphet or even internalized arophobia, bc a lot of these experiences can look similar on the surface. 👍🏻

there’s also no winning. i quickly went from saying i was gay to bi because my family freaked out way less when they thought me ending up with a guy was still an option. but when you’re bi, a lot of people don’t take you seriously or act like you’re Less Into Women. and then some people don’t even think aros exist. so you’re going through this journey of self discovery, and you’ve got haters every single step of the way. nightmare blunt rotation.