it’s kinda funny after moving and being in a bit of a rough situation for a while i lost a very significant amount of weight, and while everyone else in my family was happy about it, i wasn’t, and i’m still not… i don’t look or feel quite right, i feel less “healthy,” more weak and prone to getting sick more often, and i just miss how i used to look and feel quite a bit. i remember family members would call me fat and i’d look in a mirror after, feeling awful at first because i was clearly being shamed about it, as if i was gross… but over time, i grew to actually like my weight and was pretty vocal about it, much to the dismay and confusion of said family. it felt like a part of me and it’s just. how i looked! it was normal and good. it doesn’t feel like getting better to lose it, it feels like getting worse
fatphobia is fucking awful like it makes people so cruel to their own family and friends. i have a section of my family that’s predominantly fat people, and with one exception they’re all very nice and literally just. you know. people. but everyone else in my family hates them for a reason they refuse to get into unless you prod them. when you do, it just boils down to “they’re gross and embarrassing” and you know exactly what they mean by that. it’s so fucked up that me saying “yeah actually i like my cousin, i consider her my friend” is seen as heresy just because she’s fat. how could you pick people who will shit-talk their family members bc of their appearance over people who literally helped us move and escape a fucking hurricane when nobody else would. purely based on their weight. absolutely miserable existence