NGL I always thought you left the community because of ezgender

nah. i mean, okay, kinda. some of the stuff i saw him doing and saying to people did make me permanently disillusioned, and i also became really disappointed in myself for following someone who, had i checked instead of blindly trusting him- who already intimidated me and who i knew could be really rude in disagreements- i would’ve seen was genuinely awful to whoever he thought deserved it. i know i can’t change the world and not everything’s my fault, but i absolutely did and still do to an extent partially blame myself for not having the willpower to confront him. considered apologizing directly to all those people he hurt with his shitty blocklist, but i decided against it cuz i’m sure they just wanted to be left the fuck alone after it all

i wouldn’t say it’s why i left, but i would say it fucked me up and only contributed to how bad my health eventually got. idk. all i can hope for now is that he ended up getting the support he clearly needed at the time, and that he’s getting better like i eventually did after leaving. i also just think it’s a lesson in how maybe communities shouldn’t have “leaders” or people who get a little too much influence and start having the capability to do some serious harm