in order to unlearn racism u have to be willing to accept that u are racist. it’s not a bad thing to want to change for the better. it’s not a bad thing to say hey, the way i’ve been acting is racist and i don’t want to be racist anymore. when people of color are telling u ways in which u have been racist, it’s actually not cool to brush it off and say, well i didn’t mean it that way.. u actually have to make an effort to stop doing those things if u want to be able to actually say ur anti-racist. u can’t just say ur not racist because u don’t wanna be seen as racist. that’s not how unlearning racism works.
“um i’m actually a good person so calling me racist couldn’t possibly be true. ur just attacking me!” see how the racism is literally right there? see how ur just seconds away from calling me an angry black girl?
it’s so weird having grown up with people who just never took me to the doctor because even after years of doing research on it, i’m still like nahhhhh i don’t need to see a doctor haha. pretty obvious symptoms of weird hormone fuckery that started in my teens has been noticed by other people and lines up pretty consistently with an intersex condition [sorry if this isn’t the right phrase for it] well i’m sure it’s nothinggggggggggg haha twirling my hair
Trans misogyny is a unique type of discrimination trans girls and women face. It combines transphobia, the hatred for and discrimination against trans people, with misogyny, the prejudice and contempt towards women.
The impact of trans misogyny is far-reaching. During adolescence, trans girls experience higher rates of bullying and victimisation than trans boys and cisgender peers.
Faced with such daunting prospects, it seems much harder for trans girls to reveal their gender identity as adolescents at an already uncertain time of their lives.❞
(yes, the language and such is slightly off, the authors being medical professionals, gender specialists, but not, so far as I know, trans themselves—still, the whole article is very good in content and well-sourced)
i have these ocs who are nonhumans, and the way their society works is that they are superficially derivative of humans. they’re not humans, they don’t have to look like humans, but the powerful ones imitate human ideals to the best of their ability anyways, mostly because of laziness and corruption but also because they just genuinely don’t know how to structure anything without something to base it on
this includes gender. except it’s not gender. it’s roles. but they’re very obviously mimicking human genders without fully realizing the purpose or reason for its existence. this species doesn’t even sexually reproduce, they only have some semblance of human “body sex” because again, they mimic humans down to the appearance of them, but without having any actual use for doing so. and yet, this corrupted society still puts value onto the “"sex”“ of beings and tie it into the roles you can have. why? well. control and some mockery of "law and order,” mostly. the real answer is that it’s just what they believe is an extremely simple and easy way to create separation of labor and identity, not realizing that um. this is not how living creatures tend to operate on a 1:1 basis. you fucked it up
the fun thing about this though, is that just like with gender roles, and the patriarchy- yes, this society ends up forming its own fucked up roles and oppressive structures, but this also means that there’s this species’ own conceptualization of a sort of “non-binary” that slowly forms and is given shape and language. there’s also the whole idea of being non-conforming or just “trans.” it’s very difficult for them to understand, because their role is so tied to everything about them and splitting up, say, presentation and role, or role and job, is entirely foreign to them. but as they keep doing it, eventually the whole system kinda comes apart
best part? these guys can shapeshift. you can just insta-transition yourself in pretty much any way, if you work on the skill for long enough and will it into existence
i cannot express to you enough that you literally do not have to get into a relationship. ever. you don’t have to get married. you don’t have to be dating. you don’t have to search for “the one.” you don’t have to have sex. you don’t have to deal with any of that shit if you don’t want to. even if you’re not aro or ace or anything. you can have attraction to people in any kind of way, and still not want to do some or any of it. it’s about what you want to devote your time to and what you find fulfilling or important, not “well people said i had to because that’s what they consider normal behavior.”
So this is a totally useless rant, but as a skinny girl, I’m getting extra, extra tired of fat-shaming.
I work for a corsetier at a Renaissance Faire. We sell corsets. Not flimsy bullshit costume corsets; like real, durable, waist-training corsets. Today a woman came in with her boyfriend, so I helped her pick out a corset and try it on. While her boyfriend—who was decidedly enthused about the whole corset thing—sat watching me lace her in, he told me, grinning, “Of all the good jobs at the Renaissance Faire, I think you have the best.”
I shrugged in agreement. “I touch butts and reach down cleavage all day; I mean…” Because we like to be a bit rakish at the Faire, and, y’know, it’s true. Tying people into corsets pretty much invariably requires getting handsy.
The couple laughed at that, and the boyfriend said, “That’s the job I would want!” But then he chuckled again and said, offhand, “Or maybe not; while we were looking at the racks, there were some pretty big sizes on there!”
Our sizes are all done in inches, and the biggest we make is a 46. And you’d better believe our large sizes sell. For a second I wasn’t sure what to say to the guy’s comment, but I answered him casually. “We get a lot of beautiful big ladies in here.” Because we do. “We make corsets for real women, not Barbie dolls,” I added. Wasn’t trying to be smart, just kind of tossed it out there because that’s the line we like to use when people ask about larger sizes, and because, again, we do.
The boyfriend went quiet at that; I didn’t think anything of it, I just kept on lacing. A moment later, he said, a little awkwardly (but sincerely enough), “Didn’t mean to be offensive.”
I quickly smiled and brushed it off, said he wasn’t, said I was just saying. (Don’t want to make the customers uncomfortable, you know?) And that was the end of it. His comment had rubbed me the wrong way, but it wasn’t a big deal. Now, I wear a 20-inch corset. I’m a few cup sizes short of being one of the Barbie dolls. Like his girlfriend, I’m one of the “hot chicks”; he doesn’t have to worry about offending me by implying that I wouldn’t be fun to poke and pull at.
Honestly though, of all the people I fit sexy technically-undergarments to in a day, fat girls are maybe my favorite people to lace up. Because they are just so damn happy that we have stuff that fits them. They are so damn happy that the corsets we make in their sizes are all the same pretty, shiny colors and cool flower/dragon/skull/etc. prints that the smaller corsets are, not ugly beige and boring “granny” colors. They are so goddamn happy that at least one (of several on the grounds) corset shop carries things that they can wear, that they actually want to wear, and that they look fucking awesome in. This is only my second season working, and we’ve fit 60+ inch waists and double-K busts. The only people we’ve ever had to tell sorry, we don’t have anything that fits them, are twelve-year-old kids.
It’s half-wonderful, half-heartbreaking how excited those women get. Women who say with sad smiles, when we ask if they want to get fitted, “Oh, no, you don’t have anything that fits me,” and then are stunned when we’re 300% confident that yes we do, and we have options. Women who can’t stop smiling and looking at themselves in the mirror after we’ve got them laced in.
I had a lady last week whose waist I measured (cinching the tape tight, as per procedure) at 41 inches—honestly not all that big. So she picked out a 41-inch corset to try on. I could tell halfway through getting her laced that it was going to be a bit big for her, so I mentioned it and said she might do better to try a smaller size. She started crying on the spot. She was so overwhelmed; she couldn’t believe someone had just told her that a 41 was too big. She told me about how hard clothes shopping was for her, how her mother would tell her she needed an XXXL instead of an XXL, how she had recently lost weight but still couldn’t wear certain colors because they didn’t fit or she wasn’t confident enough.
She did end up getting her corset, and after I checked her out she asked if she could give me a hug, so we ended up standing there hugging each other for a minute. While we did, I told her, “Do not ever let anyone tell you any bullshit. You are gorgeous.” She said, “I have a new boyfriend and he keeps telling me that.” I told her he was right, and to just keep telling herself she’s gorgeous; it was okay if she didn’t always believe it, but to keep telling herself anyway. (That’s how I talked myself through shit when I had bad anxiety.)
We all know fat-shaming is bad. The stupidity, fatphobia, and misogyny of it has pissed me off since I first became aware of it. But working with clothing, especially as figure-hugging and precise as corsets, has given me a new perspective on it—how much it affects people and just how shitty it is. Like, what does it say that I had a grown, only average-big woman crying into my shoulder because she was so overjoyed not to be the uppermost extremity of what a manufacturer can clothe?
My job rocks and it’s really rewarding, but sometimes it highlights some of the ugliest shit about society. I’m so glad I work at a shop that’s not bullshit about body types and operates with more people in mind than just scrawny white chicks like me. The fat women I work with are a ton of fun to lace up, and they’re so much more than their size—they’re cool, they’re smart, they’re funny, they’re sweet, they’re great to talk to, and yes, they’re hot. I’m so damn done with them getting short-changed and shamed by petty fucks who refuse to make them nice clothes, who refuse to even try to work for them, who refuse to consider them pretty. This whole rant was useless and won’t get read, but I had to vent because it’s been driving me nuts.
So actually, screw you, random dude. Fat girls are the highlight of my job.
Ecters, originally coined with its alternative name Menre, was first created by me in 2022 here. Not all information about it on the original post is entirely accurate anymore, so an updated explanation is in order!
Ecter Identity, also called Menre, refers to identities and identity systems that are outside the boundaries of “gender” entirely. It’s comparable to something like nonbinary is for the gender binary, except it is outside of gender itself. It’s a huge umbrella term that can contain countless identification systems and unique experiences, each one capable of being just as varied and expansive as gender is. Someone might have their own, standalone gender identity, or they might experience identity in a specific ecter system.
Ecter and gender aren’t a binary. Ecter is anything outside of gender and is a massive catch-all, not one single standalone experience / identity system.
This can be a really difficult concept to understand. It opens the door to the idea that gender itself can have a vast realm of identity outside of it, while still filling a somewhat similar niche. Some ecters might feel similar in concept to gender identity, while others might be entirely different in a variety of ways, with no similarities to how gender is perceived or experienced.
Ecter comes from ect- which means outside, and -er, the same ending as gender. Broadly, this translates to “outside [of] gender.” Menre, meanwhile, is taken from genre, and should be pronounced similarly (mahn-rah, not mehn-rey.) Ecter is intentionally meant to sound somewhat similar to gender, while menre is meant to be more general. Ecter can be used the same way gender is, conjugation-wise; ie, ecter identity, ecters, ectered, and so on.
[2] Ecter Systems
Ecter Systems refers to ecters within their own self-contained bubble, often with their own “rules,” identification, and experiences. They can be considered their own standalone equivalents to gender identity. If you made something called “Lender,” which is its own system of identification outside of gender, with its own set of identities and experiences… then it would be an ecter system.
The best way of understanding this is to imagine a separate society from humankind. They’re a species with their own equivalent identities that are different from gender. There’s a series of experiences commonly associated with these identities, and the way it works might be entirely different from gender identity. These individuals would have ecters; crucially, the term given to their specific identity system (let’s say they call it “milliah,” or something) would be an ecter system. So to put it another way, “ecter systems” refers to self-contained bubbles that are their own equivalent to “gender,” whereas “ecter” itself is the catch-all term for everything outside of gender identity, regardless of if it’s in a defined system or not.
Another way of thinking about it is galaxies. “Gender” is our Milky Way, and everything outside of it is “Ecter.” Different galaxies, like Andromeda, are ecter systems, having its own orbit and different star / planet / etc. systems. Some ecters, like rogue planets, float around freely in space, not tied to any galaxy at all.
Ecter identities do not need to be in an ecter system in order to exist; plenty of them can be on their own, independently and not in any kind of system, sort of like how some people just use “nonbinary” or “queer” without any further specification.
Important to note that two ecter systems are usually just as separate from each other as ecters and genders, besides the fact that neither one is gender. No two ecters have to be alike, and ecter systems are not all universally connected to each other. Going back to the space analogy, being in one “galaxy” does not mean you’re connected to all the others. You can make ecter systems that are tied to each other, but unless explicitly stated, you should assume that they’re independent to themselves.
This is a really simple way of visualizing it. As you can see, everything outside of the green circle / border would be considered ecters, but ecter systems are their own self-contained bubbles that are different equivalents to gender.
[3] Notes
Some examples of ecters that already exist are kenocter, cybecter, and ecterfluid, all of which I made myself. Any ecters I’ve seen or made can be found in this tag.
Ecter was partly made to describe nonhuman characters and species that I thought would have their own unique equivalents to gender, while existing completely outside of it. I also think it could be considered useful to a variety of nonhuman and alterhuman individuals, who might not subscribe to the concept of “gender identity” and experience something outside of those bounds. That being said, ecter was made as a concept for absolutely anybody to use.
If this still confuses you, you can always ask me about it directly and I’ll try to word it differently as many times as you need. :)
Kenocter: An ecter identity that’s analogous to kenochoric in some way. As an example, it could be when someone can only describe their ecter through the concept of kenosity or being kenochoric, because it’s the closest comparison there is; or, it could be when someone has an ecter that is tied to the same associations or “vibes” as kenochoric. The term can also be used as an umbrella for other ecters.
i cannot express to you enough that you literally do not have to get into a relationship. ever. you don’t have to get married. you don’t have to be dating. you don’t have to search for “the one.” you don’t have to have sex. you don’t have to deal with any of that shit if you don’t want to. even if you’re not aro or ace or anything. you can have attraction to people in any kind of way, and still not want to do some or any of it. it’s about what you want to devote your time to and what you find fulfilling or important, not “well people said i had to because that’s what they consider normal behavior.”
i must have really liked the term soporine back in the day cuz i keep making jokes about it. i’m like always tired and i keep going “damn does this mean i’m transitioning to soporine”
i only truly remember a select few neogender umbrellas nowadays after so many years lets see if i get them right
kenochoric: liminality, emptiness, nostalgia, vastness, darkness, / obscurity, the unknown, eerieness / strangeness, the uncanny, paradoxes, i could go on forever you get the idea this is my baby
luxine: light and angels and holiness and stuffs
macarshric(?????): ummm gore and violence and red
soporine: sleep and drowsiness and dreams
?????????: one based on comfortable and cute things but idr the name
i must have really liked the term soporine back in the day cuz i keep making jokes about it. i’m like always tired and i keep going “damn does this mean i’m transitioning to soporine”
i mean this in the nicest way possible but some of you need to learn how to be annoyed
people are going to annoy you and that’s not a reason to burn bridges or blow up relationships
some people will even annoy you often! some people aren’t good at social cues and will therefore be frequently annoying! still not a reason to blow everything up!
part of developing your sense of community is learning how to tolerate people being annoying to you
it’s no great hardship to include even the people you find a bit irritating in your community
this post is about everyone who’s kind of annoying (which. everyone is annoying sometimes) but it’s also specifically about neurodivergent people who are just trying to exist in their communities without being ostracized for not doing every social interaction perfectly
It doesn’t have a flag and idk if I’m even gonna make one, but here’s a symbol for cybecter / machecter or whatever you wanna call it. It’s for ecters that might only be able to be experienced by technological things, ecters that can only be experienced through the lens of machinery / technology, and other kinds of thing like that. it’s not an ecter system, it’s more just a broad term i thought was cool
im honestly surprised (not really surprised considering what website this is) that i haven’t seen anyone on here talk about Lil Nas X getting violently arrested after suffering some kind of mental health episode. I wish he was getting more attention and support.
good article explaining what happened and why the response to it, which is mostly people chalking it up to a joke since they never took Lil Nas X seriously as a real person, is so sad to see
Kenocter: An ecter identity that’s analogous to kenochoric in some way. As an example, it could be when someone can only describe their ecter through the concept of kenosity or being kenochoric, because it’s the closest comparison there is; or, it could be when someone has an ecter that is tied to the same associations or “vibes” as kenochoric. The term can also be used as an umbrella for other ecters.
imagine if someone who actually had the time and resources made a mastodon instance for tumblr refugees. or something. call it hellsite.social or some awesome shit like that. mastodon is good in theory, but i fear it is mostly people twice my age talking about computer programming. which don’t get me wrong. is very cool. #linux #foss. but i want to be somewhere a little more…. weird and wacky like tumblr is
i mean or there could be a massive campaign to get a bunch of tumblr communities to mass migrate to mastodon and start sharing specific tags so we can all find each other. be the change you want to see in the world and all that. but telling people to “join mastodon” is like telling people to “jump into a vat of acid” or perhaps “install arch linux”
imagine if someone who actually had the time and resources made a mastodon instance for tumblr refugees. or something. call it hellsite.social or some awesome shit like that. mastodon is good in theory, but i fear it is mostly people twice my age talking about computer programming. which don’t get me wrong. is very cool. #linux #foss. but i want to be somewhere a little more…. weird and wacky like tumblr is
don’t ever forget this is the same website where the ceo, matt mullenweg, terminated a trans woman as retaliation for her being upset that her fully sfw , fully clothed selfies were tagged as inappropriate, chased her over to twitter to further harass her, and publicly alluded to the contents of her (up to that point private and unconnected) side blogs. this site’s moderation has more than proven that it operates largely on spite and targets rule-abiding accounts entirely because they annoy them.
If someone had an ecter instead of a gender, would they be considered agender?
yes, cuz they have no Gender and that’s what agender is referring to. if you had no ecter, the best and most simple word for it would prolly be “anecter.” you could also spell it as aecter, but i feel like anecter is way easier to say and read (a- / an- as a prefix have the same meaning, anyways)
Kenocter: An ecter identity that’s analogous to kenochoric in some way. As an example, it could be when someone can only describe their ecter through the concept of kenosity or being kenochoric, because it’s the closest comparison there is; or, it could be when someone has an ecter that is tied to the same associations or “vibes” as kenochoric. The term can also be used as an umbrella for other ecters.
maybe you could coin new terms separating masc/man and fem/woman? since translunar and transtidal are pretty widely used now i feel like it would be hard to try and correct the definitions now
yeah i actually want to talk about translunar / transtidal for a sec. i feel like i fucked it up so bad combining masc/fem terms with man/woman terms. i feel like i should repost it and try to fix it, but i don’t know if it’s worth it or even possible to do so after all this time. like, should i???? i could make it be specifically about manhood / womanhood but as spectrums of identity, people who are adjacent to trans men and trans women in a sense but aren’t necessarily in that category for a variety of reasons, just like how transmasc / transfem are so often used to fill that niche (but are connected to transitioning towards masculinity or femininity which not everyone relates to) …
i “count” as transmasc, but i don’t use that label. i’m multigender, but when i say “i’m transmasc” to people, they usually assume i’m “an afab person who is trans guy-adjacent” when like. noooo. i’m also a girl. and kenochoric. and maybe some other shit. none of those experiences are more in the background or less important to me
i know that’s not ACTUALLY what transmasc means, obviously multigender people and shit are included in the term, but that’s still the impression a lot of people get and it sucks. i always get exclusively he/him’d and grouped in exclusively with guys, even if i add in that i’m nonbinary or multigender after the fact. idk if you could consider that exorsexism, but i can definitely consider it “annoying as fuck”
previous post reminds me i still have so many political books i own that i haven’t actually finished yet. i have whipping girl by julia serano, but i also have the ethnic cleansing of palestine by ilan pappe and a couple books by bell hooks too. the pappe book in particular is extremely dense in how much information there is but i do really want to get through them all. i also REALLY. really. want some stuff by judith butler and also orientalism by edward saïd and-
In Whipping Girl, Julia Serano proposes that we drop “passing” as a term. Instead of passing or not passing, we are either correctly gendered or misgendered. This is to de-artificialize our genders, after all, am I a man trying to pass myself off as a woman? Or am I just a woman who cis people, due to their own prejudice, look at and assume is a man? Of course, it is the latter.
She also proposes to change what some call “passing privilege” to “conditional cissexual privilege.” This is to emphasize how while passing can be a privilege in many respects, it is also a conditional privilege that is only given to you if you have the luck, effort, and money necessary to be good enough in the eyes of the cis person. One that can be easily revoked if they clock you or discover your trans status in any way.
this blog is already a clusterfuck i’m posting neogender shit one second and the next i’m reminding people of why i was almost a polsci major and talking shit about james somerton
I’m getting really fucking tired of queer non black artists using the excuse of “I don’t want to get scrutinized for drawing black characters harmfully so I choose to not depict them at all” like you guys just sound racist as fuck considering that there are so many tutorials and black artist making guides on what to avoid by a simple Google search
you people are CHOOSING white comfortability over showing solidarity with black artists. I’m not saying that if you don’t draw black people properly you’re evil, but rather how I find it wayyy more offensive to avoid us all together.
“yeah lemme draw monster and robot yaoi that requires actual skill and dedication but black people???
they’re too hard and scary and what if the scary blacks get mad I didn’t draw them right :((”
white people love using their disability as an excuse to be racist towards black people.
i remember when the hbomberguy video came out and everyone got super mad at james somerton and shit and like. i was one of those people but tbh, i was also kinda mad at the community. like that guy was saying some of the most insanely misogynistic shit i’ve ever heard come out of a gay guy’s mouth but i never heard anybody giving a shit until it was the hot topic of the week. and even then, people just made fun of him and talked about the plagiarism while skipping over the genuinely like, evil and horrific shit he was saying about other groups of queer people. which like. considering he was ripping all those words from real people (including vocal feminists and people who died of AIDS complications) and then twisting it into his own “version” feels even more insidious. he was literally using dead people’s words and making a Misogyny Version. but it’s ok bc he switched the word “gay” with “queer” to hide his plagiarism so he must be a progressive 👍🏻
remember when he mockingly claimed the writer of simon vs. the homosapien agenda was a Straight Woman Fetishizing Gay Men years after she’d already been harrassed and practically forced into coming out as bisexual. remember how that led to a re-ignition of hatred that she finally escaped. remember how petty he was and how he refused to apologize for doing that to her while constantly shit-talking her privately in his server. i remember :/
i remember when the hbomberguy video came out and everyone got super mad at james somerton and shit and like. i was one of those people but tbh, i was also kinda mad at the community. like that guy was saying some of the most insanely misogynistic shit i’ve ever heard come out of a gay guy’s mouth but i never heard anybody giving a shit until it was the hot topic of the week. and even then, people just made fun of him and talked about the plagiarism while skipping over the genuinely like, evil and horrific shit he was saying about other groups of queer people. which like. considering he was ripping all those words from real people (including vocal feminists and people who died of AIDS complications) and then twisting it into his own “version” feels even more insidious. he was literally using dead people’s words and making a Misogyny Version. but it’s ok bc he switched the word “gay” with “queer” to hide his plagiarism so he must be a progressive 👍🏻
